what's your "birth plan?"

So, today a little about the biscuit growing inside me.
It seems that when you have major life changing events, people are very interested in giving you advice and asking very important questions. Take a wedding for example. When I announced my engagement people asked all kinds of questions such as "what are your colors?". It appears that your "colors" have a direct correlation with the success of your marriage. "What color is your dress? " --I think that is to determine your state of virginity and finally "where are you getting married?"- well, clearly in a church because I am a virgin. Well, maybe I didn't get married in a church, but a Reverend performed the service--that is very close.
Now I am pregnant and again people have lots of questions and advice. "What are your colors ?" - I don't have any, I hope that doesn't put the biscuit in therapy. "Do you know what you are having ?" - Yes, we are having a baby. "Do you have a birth plan?" Uh yeah, we plan to give birth.....then raise it. Now, I know that I choose to tell everyone what to do and think they would be better off for following my advice, but the question is do I want reciprocation --not really.
It seems that most new moms are preoccupied with plans and programs and theories and research when it comes to babies.
**Let me add a quick disclaimer that if you have given me a book of any sort I appreciate it very much and while I may not have read it cover to cover yet, I most certainly have looked at the pictures--very cool and thank you--I am not poking fun at the couple of books I have received**
I have not read books about how to be pregnant. Women have been doing it a long time and had quite a few babies. I have chosen to take care of myself , be happy and of course,take vitamins . I do enjoy checking the state of the baby week to week so I check a website and check the book for info ( read "look at pictures")--that's fun. I have not played Mozart or read a Tale of Two Cities to the biscuit--I hope he/she turns out "OK".
Finally for my "parenting style" that people keep asking about. I plan to pick up the baby and let it cry-I won't know which until I am in the moment. I do not plan to co-sleep unless it gets me an extra hour or two on a Saturday morning, or of course, to sooth a bad dream. I think the biscuit will still know that it is loved even if it sleeps in it's own room. Biscuit will eat and learn at their own speed and may not be able to recite the Declaration Of Independence by 18 months--please don't judge me too harshly.
Frankly, there are an awful lot of philosophies and rearing plans that people are following to raise their kids. Now, is it me or do we seem to have a lot of kids that are.....well, jacked up--I'm just sayin'. The Mr. and I agree on our plan. Our goal is to not raise assholes, we just want our kids to be nice people. If they work hard, follow their hearts and aren't assholes, then we are a success. I think "How Not To Raise an Asshole" will be the name of my book--I am just putting it our there so no one steals my title.


Comments

  1. Glad the biscuit is doing well. Everyone is gonna give you advice and try to touch the belly. you just have to look like a mean B and they will back off on the belly thing. On the advice thing you are screwed. But if you need advice or some input I will oblige. Oh and one more thing the birthing classes "them old Bitches lie," I asked the doctor for my money back as soon as lilly was out.

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  2. Hello Pretty Lady,
    I am just going to say a few things some of the only real advise my mother in law gave me. It will be the worst pain you have ever felt, but the soonest forgotten. I know this sounds a bit gross, but she also told me it was like being constipated ... LOL, she was right !! :) Oh and if you hear this " cats will suck the breath out of your baby" NOT TURE ! You will hear it all. I can only add this from me, Children do not come with instruction books, and you will spend the rest of your life praying that you are doing the right thing. Praying they will listen when they get older, and praying nothing will happen to them. They will love you with all their Hearts and it is the best gift God could ever give.
    You will be an awesome parent !! Can not wait to see Pictures of the Baby. <3 Ellen

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