the "5 AM r u up boogie"
I do a dance every morning. It is not something I learned in da club. You aren't going to see that jackass at the office do it at the next Christmas party--no Cabbage Patch here. No, I learned it from a 6 week old. It's called the "R U Up Boogie" and it goes something like this.
At some point you may be fortunate enough to have the new member of your family actually sleep for 5-6 hours in a night-----SWEEETTT !! It is a "heaven " that I wish on all new mothers--it makes it all worth it and restores a small bit of sanity--I said SMALL. Ultimately, however, you will have to deal with the morning and the question of "is she (or he) really up?" You see, there are many stages of waking and of hunger. You do not want to wait until the crying and screaming. That means she is beyond hungry and frankly makes you feel like an asshole for waiting so long. There is a beginning stage though that starts about 30 minutes or so before she actually wakes up. It consists of some mouth noises, stretching and in my house, some very impressive gas. The challenge is that is can last as anywhere from 10 minutes to 60 minutes, so I wait.........and wait........and wait........and dance.
I listen, get up and look at her--she looks good, lay back down. She makes noises, squirms, I get up and psyche myself up for being "up", look at her, she is completely still, I lay back down. I snuggle in --and I mean snuggle. My legs are tucked up, blanket underneath my chin feeling the warmth of the Mr on my back.....I could pass right on out...but I can't--she just whimpered, I get up and so it continues.
Sometimes you add the "pump" step. Which is tricky to implement. You have to time it right and only use it if you need it. It has to prevent your food source from exploding all over your nightwear while allowing the kiddo to still have nourishment when she is ready--it is a more advanced step.I have only used this a couple of times.
I try to go back to sleep and get as many minutes as I can, but the dance doesn't allow actual slumber, just the precursor--just the tease.
Today I added another step to the dance, the "I'm gonna get up and type and have coffee before I am attached to my Biscuit for an hour". I assumed,like going to the bathroom at a restaurant , that it would insight instant readiness for breakfast. Ironically , she is still asleep.......at this point I could've gotten another hour of sleep from the first time I woke--damn dance. What do you do......
I really shouldn't call it a "boogie". It is slower, more subtle, more sophisticated really.......but it's not really a waltz. Boogie just sounds more fun. I could go wake her up...........No.....stop it......that is just the crazy talking.........so I wait and yes, .....dance.
At some point you may be fortunate enough to have the new member of your family actually sleep for 5-6 hours in a night-----SWEEETTT !! It is a "heaven " that I wish on all new mothers--it makes it all worth it and restores a small bit of sanity--I said SMALL. Ultimately, however, you will have to deal with the morning and the question of "is she (or he) really up?" You see, there are many stages of waking and of hunger. You do not want to wait until the crying and screaming. That means she is beyond hungry and frankly makes you feel like an asshole for waiting so long. There is a beginning stage though that starts about 30 minutes or so before she actually wakes up. It consists of some mouth noises, stretching and in my house, some very impressive gas. The challenge is that is can last as anywhere from 10 minutes to 60 minutes, so I wait.........and wait........and wait........and dance.
I listen, get up and look at her--she looks good, lay back down. She makes noises, squirms, I get up and psyche myself up for being "up", look at her, she is completely still, I lay back down. I snuggle in --and I mean snuggle. My legs are tucked up, blanket underneath my chin feeling the warmth of the Mr on my back.....I could pass right on out...but I can't--she just whimpered, I get up and so it continues.
Sometimes you add the "pump" step. Which is tricky to implement. You have to time it right and only use it if you need it. It has to prevent your food source from exploding all over your nightwear while allowing the kiddo to still have nourishment when she is ready--it is a more advanced step.I have only used this a couple of times.
I try to go back to sleep and get as many minutes as I can, but the dance doesn't allow actual slumber, just the precursor--just the tease.
Today I added another step to the dance, the "I'm gonna get up and type and have coffee before I am attached to my Biscuit for an hour". I assumed,like going to the bathroom at a restaurant , that it would insight instant readiness for breakfast. Ironically , she is still asleep.......at this point I could've gotten another hour of sleep from the first time I woke--damn dance. What do you do......
I really shouldn't call it a "boogie". It is slower, more subtle, more sophisticated really.......but it's not really a waltz. Boogie just sounds more fun. I could go wake her up...........No.....stop it......that is just the crazy talking.........so I wait and yes, .....dance.
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