WHAT'S WRONG WITH MOTHER'S DAY?
Mother's Day 2019 started with a strawberries and cream (real cream, thank you) parfait and hot coffee in bed. Pretty damn nice I must say. Then, as I lay about enjoying my rest, I heard a news report that this has been the highest grossing Mother's Day on record.It irritated me. I usually feel irritated about something. Today it is Mother's Day.
If you want to understand the history behind the idea, you can do your research on Wikipedia. But what has this Mother's Day thing become? I mean, who the hell is it really for? Who reaps the rewards...really? Hallmark, Ambassador, FTD and everyone else that has a hand in the game. Stores designate special retail spaces for it. There are Mother's Day Sales on everything from plants to pizzas. There are lots of people making money on the notion that unless you make a big todo for your mom one day a year that you are a pile of poop.
Of course I LOVE my handmade cards and coasters from my kiddos. Those are priceless works of art that I will cherish forever. Outside of that ...what are we really doing? I don't need a day to feel respected and appreciated. That should be happening all year. Except my birthday of course. My birthday is ALL about me ALL DAY-I may even claim the whole week- and I better be ADORED. But Mother's Day? On this day you are actually expected to be even more of a mother than you are on ANY OTHER DAY!!! Sitting there letting everyone get in your personal space, lay on you and hug you while simultaneously assaulting you with opposing blows of appreciation and love.
It's born of this obligation, imposed on the family, that was created by card companies and flower shops. This belief that all moms want to be showered with crap, eat brunch and have every family member glued to her side.
Who's that for? Me? I imagine most moms would just want to be left alone.I would like to go treasure hunting, hang about flea markets with no concept of time, have a liquid lunch, wander with no agenda. Hell, that's just a really nice day in general!
I remember making things for my mom in school or in Girl Scouts and I felt proud of my gifts. I can't really remember the pressure to shower my mom on Mother's Day as I got older and was off living my life. My guess is that occasionally I sent flowers or took her to dinner. But did I do it to show her how much I appreciated her or because marketing said I should? Was I not respectful and appreciative the other 364 days of the year? And...When does it end ???!!! Now I'm a mom...do I have to try and do both?? Shower my mom with appreciation and be showered at the same time? That leaves me feelings stressed.
I don't really want to do both. When my kids are no longer asked to provide me with kudos in crayon as part of their school work,I don't really care if they call me on the 2nd Sunday in May. I want them to be kind people, ask me for advice they won't take and periodically come home with laundry and empty bellies so I can take care of them and complain about it the whole time.
If I'm honest, the greatest joy I get from Mother's Day is my children's faces when they present their works.Or when they march in with a delicious breakfast creation covered in whipped cream.
My partner in parental crime also gets me a card, writes sweet stuff in it and spoils me a bit, which I love. But days when you get a break are amazing.My husband and I try to support each other having days like that periodically. Being aware and selfish with your needs can be healing. We don't get to do it often and it's with a little less ceremony, but we do let each other recharge-it is life saving for all involved :-).So, basically on these denoted holidays of appreciation, we mostly just add dessert topping.
Mother's Day is a nice idea--and I suppose it's evolving into a celebration of women.But, if it is truly a celebration of mothers, women and what they do to make the world livable, then maybe we should revisit how we show our appreciation.
Maybe instead of cards, flowers and extravagant brunches, we honor mothers with the choice to BE a mom. Honor mothers with the right to make the same salary as the fathers. Honor moms with affordable healthcare, childcare and resources that can help her be everything she needs to be to raise healthy, happy and academically successful children. Vote in honor of women and children. Vote for who they want to be. Vote for their rights to be fully recognized.
If we want to feel better about ourselves, instead of blowing $50 on an omelet and a mimosa, donate time and money to organizations that help battered women. Be a Big Brother or Sister for the child of a single mom. Provide resources to stop trafficking of young women. Look for local ways to honor all mothers, all women in our community. All mothers everywhere.
So, for my mom, I love you and I look forward to hanging out when I can with 2 young kiddos, 2 new businesses and life, but I'm no longer under the pressure of Mother's Day. You have my bookmarks, ornaments and notes scrawled in crayon all in tribute. Now the best thing I can do to celebrate mothers is be a good mom and strong woman for my babies.
To my future adult kids. When you are grown, do not feel pressure to show me your love with flowers or cards. Go be good people and do good things.Make a positive impact on the world. Come home so I can feed you and kiss your faces from time to time. I can buy my own flowers and manicure. Let your little kids dote on YOU...for them, this day is everything.
Having said all this. Today we had Bloody Mary's, cocktails, snacks and a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit ( Juniors edition and it was hard). It was a wonderful day and I had a blast. I just don't think it HAS to be reserved for Mother's Day or that we need a national day to appreciate people.
I am, however down for the occasional omelet and mimosa.
If you want to understand the history behind the idea, you can do your research on Wikipedia. But what has this Mother's Day thing become? I mean, who the hell is it really for? Who reaps the rewards...really? Hallmark, Ambassador, FTD and everyone else that has a hand in the game. Stores designate special retail spaces for it. There are Mother's Day Sales on everything from plants to pizzas. There are lots of people making money on the notion that unless you make a big todo for your mom one day a year that you are a pile of poop.
Of course I LOVE my handmade cards and coasters from my kiddos. Those are priceless works of art that I will cherish forever. Outside of that ...what are we really doing? I don't need a day to feel respected and appreciated. That should be happening all year. Except my birthday of course. My birthday is ALL about me ALL DAY-I may even claim the whole week- and I better be ADORED. But Mother's Day? On this day you are actually expected to be even more of a mother than you are on ANY OTHER DAY!!! Sitting there letting everyone get in your personal space, lay on you and hug you while simultaneously assaulting you with opposing blows of appreciation and love.
It's born of this obligation, imposed on the family, that was created by card companies and flower shops. This belief that all moms want to be showered with crap, eat brunch and have every family member glued to her side.
Who's that for? Me? I imagine most moms would just want to be left alone.I would like to go treasure hunting, hang about flea markets with no concept of time, have a liquid lunch, wander with no agenda. Hell, that's just a really nice day in general!
I remember making things for my mom in school or in Girl Scouts and I felt proud of my gifts. I can't really remember the pressure to shower my mom on Mother's Day as I got older and was off living my life. My guess is that occasionally I sent flowers or took her to dinner. But did I do it to show her how much I appreciated her or because marketing said I should? Was I not respectful and appreciative the other 364 days of the year? And...When does it end ???!!! Now I'm a mom...do I have to try and do both?? Shower my mom with appreciation and be showered at the same time? That leaves me feelings stressed.
I don't really want to do both. When my kids are no longer asked to provide me with kudos in crayon as part of their school work,I don't really care if they call me on the 2nd Sunday in May. I want them to be kind people, ask me for advice they won't take and periodically come home with laundry and empty bellies so I can take care of them and complain about it the whole time.
If I'm honest, the greatest joy I get from Mother's Day is my children's faces when they present their works.Or when they march in with a delicious breakfast creation covered in whipped cream.
My partner in parental crime also gets me a card, writes sweet stuff in it and spoils me a bit, which I love. But days when you get a break are amazing.My husband and I try to support each other having days like that periodically. Being aware and selfish with your needs can be healing. We don't get to do it often and it's with a little less ceremony, but we do let each other recharge-it is life saving for all involved :-).So, basically on these denoted holidays of appreciation, we mostly just add dessert topping.
Mother's Day is a nice idea--and I suppose it's evolving into a celebration of women.But, if it is truly a celebration of mothers, women and what they do to make the world livable, then maybe we should revisit how we show our appreciation.
Maybe instead of cards, flowers and extravagant brunches, we honor mothers with the choice to BE a mom. Honor mothers with the right to make the same salary as the fathers. Honor moms with affordable healthcare, childcare and resources that can help her be everything she needs to be to raise healthy, happy and academically successful children. Vote in honor of women and children. Vote for who they want to be. Vote for their rights to be fully recognized.
If we want to feel better about ourselves, instead of blowing $50 on an omelet and a mimosa, donate time and money to organizations that help battered women. Be a Big Brother or Sister for the child of a single mom. Provide resources to stop trafficking of young women. Look for local ways to honor all mothers, all women in our community. All mothers everywhere.
So, for my mom, I love you and I look forward to hanging out when I can with 2 young kiddos, 2 new businesses and life, but I'm no longer under the pressure of Mother's Day. You have my bookmarks, ornaments and notes scrawled in crayon all in tribute. Now the best thing I can do to celebrate mothers is be a good mom and strong woman for my babies.
To my future adult kids. When you are grown, do not feel pressure to show me your love with flowers or cards. Go be good people and do good things.Make a positive impact on the world. Come home so I can feed you and kiss your faces from time to time. I can buy my own flowers and manicure. Let your little kids dote on YOU...for them, this day is everything.
Having said all this. Today we had Bloody Mary's, cocktails, snacks and a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit ( Juniors edition and it was hard). It was a wonderful day and I had a blast. I just don't think it HAS to be reserved for Mother's Day or that we need a national day to appreciate people.
I am, however down for the occasional omelet and mimosa.
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